Kern's Holler Journal
17th Century Subgenii?

by Meister Puck

In my capacity as North American Chairman of the World Council of Cults, I was researching the history of English Dissenters and made a stunning discovery: There was a 17th Century Church of the Subgenius, known as the Ranters. They held church services in taverns, incorporated blasphemy and free love into their worship services and engaged in public nudity. Their theology was mostly a jumble of revenge fantasies against "the great ones of the earth" (The Con) and "the reprobate professors" (Normals).

Their leader, Abiezer Coppe, may have been a prior incarnation of Dobbs. His books sound like something "Bob" might have written in the idiom of the time:

"A Fiery Flying Rolle, a Word from the Lord to all the Great Ones of the Earth, whom this may concerne: Being the last Warning Piece at the dreadfull day of Judgement."

"A Second Fiery Flying Rolle: to All the Inhabitants of the earth, specially to the rich ones."

"A Rout, A Rout, Or some part of the Armies Quarters Beaten Up, By the DAY of the Lord Stealing upon them."

"Heights in Depths and Depths in Heights or Truth no less Secretly then Sweetly sparkling out its GLORY from under a Cloud of OBLOQUIE."

The Slack Rays emitted by the Ranters caused such alarm in Parliament that they passed the Adultery Act and Blasphemy Act of 1650. The enraged clergy published scandal sheets that might have been written by an ancestor of Bob Larson:

"Smoke of the Bottomlesse Pit or, A More true and fuller Discovery of the Doctrine of those men which call themselves Ranters: or, The Mad Crew "

"The Rioting of the Ranters being a full relation of their uncivil carriages, and blasphemous words and actions at their mad meetings"

"The Ranters creed being a true copie of the examinations of a blasphemous sort of people, commonly called ranters, whose names are herein particularised, together with the name of their pretended God almighty, and their false prophet"

"The Ranters Religion, or, A faithfull and infallible Narrative of their damnable and diobolical opinions"

Of course, the Ranters were forcibly crushed by the authorities, but no doubt proto-Dobbs got away scot free, and with a goodly portion in his purse.