Kern's Holler Journal
We've jumped right into the 21st Century!

by RastaBillyBob

All you RastaBilly groupies will no doubt remember, that I watch(ed) tv on a 13-inch b/w 12 volt tv, at least 30 years old. Well, PriMate got it into her noggin, that she'd like to see what colour Marge's hair was, and such like. So she went out and bought a modern widescreen television. It's not so big, about 19", but it has every kind of input applicable to present-day technology; VGA, DVI, analog audio/video, coaxial cable, USB, plus a built-in DVD player and headphone out, so I can plug the sound into a bigger audio system. Best of all, it has a remute!*  I no longer have to pump irony to enslacken commercials beyond the CON' s intentions! Commercials I don't like get zapped into mimeland. I still watch and hear the Mac vs PC spots, and any ads that feature Feist or Feist-clone soundtracks. Last night, I accidentally discovered the toggle switch, so that I can bounce back-and-forth between two channels with one button. Before that, I thought I had to punch in the number, and wait about a second for the changeover.  As MrSr can attest, that's TOO long and TOO MUCH EFFORT for one of our age-enhanced status.

I didn't know if we could use it, as our house is wired for 12 volts DC, and when we need AC power, we either turn on a generator for big jobs, or run through an inverter for small jobs, such as running the modem and charging my laptop, as I'm doing right now. The problem was, that the inverter causes electrical interference with tv signals. Bungs them up altogether, truth be known. But this tv has an external power supply, with an output of 12 volts DC. So I rigged up a plug for direct 12 volt input, and run it off our household outlet! You know, most electronical gadgets actually run off 12 volts internally anyway, so your computer, DVD player, etc., all have wallwarts inside the box, inefficiently converting 115AC to +- 12v. This is another bunch of apparently-useless information, which just might prove useful after X- Day, when the CON system winds down, and we're left to regadget ourselves in the wilderness.

Another thing about this unit we just got, is that it's NOT made in China - it's made in Taiwan, which is an entirely different country, isn't it?

* Long ago, my Dad invented a remote for television. It goes like this; he was a crusading small-town weekly newspaper editor, who wrote editorials decrying the evils of the boob tube. Then, a New York tv crew made a documentary show about him, as representative of the Vanishing Breed, that being crusading weekly newspaper editors. Ego demanded that he would be able to watch the documentary in his own home. Now, my grandmother had a tv, and said Dad could have it, but then it was stolen, and as the broadcast time approached, we remained about the only tv-less household in our town. Then, the rarest of things occurred; the police FOUND the stolen tv in a bar in Louisville, AND RETURNED IT! You kids will have to take a course in history, to catch up on these ancient cultural practices.

My Dad discovered that the news was broadcast nightly on television, but he couldn't decide which of the 3 network channels ** to watch. He got another tv, and put it on top, then he carved a notch in the end of a broom handle, and would watch NBC right through, while changing between ABC and CBS with the notched broomhandle on the other tv.

** Verily, it came to pass in those eldred tymes, that there were nought but 3 networks, and therefore only 3 channels in each viewing region, AND tv quit at midnight, broadcasting a static picture of an Indian in headdress, with a whining sound until 6AM the next day. There were also only 12 dinosaurs, and one of them was Brontosaurus!