Kern's Holler Poem Bunker
Baldin Lee Pramer
The Ballad of Baby Jesus
Well he was born in Bethlehem in Galilee,
Out in the barn cause the inn weren't free
He came down to spread the word to you and me
Raised him some dead when he was thirty three.
Baby, Baby Jesus, King of the Jews, we hear!
He learned his daddy's trade cutting sticks and boards,
Making him some tables with his plane and his bore,
And while he was handling this carpentery chore,
Made himself a legend now and evermore.
Baby, Baby Jesus, learned how to lay veneer.
Now he hadn't lost his ego or his id and all,
In his heart a restlessness was often looming tall,
So he went out to the desert just to have himself a ball,
But instead he got enlightened and answered daddy's call.
Baby, Baby Jesus, the scales fell off his ears
He went off to the city and served a spell
Calling out the Pharisees, condemning them to hell.
Making trouble in Samaria, so we hear tell,
Fixing up the sinner woman down by Jacob's well.
Baby, Baby Jesus, seeing his duty clear.
Well the Romans got upset about the politics he done,
So they riled up the Jews into thinking he's a bum
They caught him and they whipped him and had him on the run
Then they nailed him to a cross and they hung him in the sun.
Baby, Baby Jesus, bleeding from out his ears.
Well now he's us in Heaven and its for the best
He's manna for the hungry soul, and to the weary, rest
Father, Son and Holy Ghost will put us to the test
And send us to eternal fire if we aren't truly blessed
Baby, Baby Jesus, boy King of all the Jews
Swing Low
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
I looked over Dobbstown, and what did I see?
Down beneath my fleshy sweet bone,
A band of pink boys coming after me,
Lee, Bobby, Billy and Joe.
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
If you get ruptured fore I do,
Right above thy fleshy sweet bone,
Let the sex goddess know I'm a comin' too.
Right behind my fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
I sent in my thirty and what they send?
Some pamplets and a guarantee,
If I don't get ruptured in the end,
Ninety dollars comin back to me.
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
Now X day's comin, or so they say,
Coming for my fleshy sweet bone,
I'm all paid up, so carry me away,
The saucers gonna carry me home!
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
Ballad of Neil Bush (you'll recognize the implied melody)
Come and listen to a story about a man named Neil
A rich racketeer who could make a Thai whore squeal,
Then one day he said "Daddy, what the hell,
I bet I could make money ripping off an S&L".
Silverado, that is. Bad loans... interest free.
Well the first thing you know ol Neil's on the phone,
Called up his partner and said "Have another loan"
"You don't have to pay it back cause you're like family"
So they loaded up their pockets and the rest is history.
Court records, that is. Bank fraud, jail time.
Well we would have had to say goodbye to Neil and all his mob,
Except they had connections who could help him keep his job.
So Neil avoided jail cause the VP was his dad
And the taxpayers had to fork it out for all the fun he'd had.
Bush style, that is. 1.6 billion. US dollars.
He's comin back now, y'hear?.
Well he was born in Bethlehem in Galilee,
Out in the barn cause the inn weren't free
He came down to spread the word to you and me
Raised him some dead when he was thirty three.
Baby, Baby Jesus, King of the Jews, we hear!
He learned his daddy's trade cutting sticks and boards,
Making him some tables with his plane and his bore,
And while he was handling this carpentery chore,
Made himself a legend now and evermore.
Baby, Baby Jesus, learned how to lay veneer.
Now he hadn't lost his ego or his id and all,
In his heart a restlessness was often looming tall,
So he went out to the desert just to have himself a ball,
But instead he got enlightened and answered daddy's call.
Baby, Baby Jesus, the scales fell off his ears
He went off to the city and served a spell
Calling out the Pharisees, condemning them to hell.
Making trouble in Samaria, so we hear tell,
Fixing up the sinner woman down by Jacob's well.
Baby, Baby Jesus, seeing his duty clear.
Well the Romans got upset about the politics he done,
So they riled up the Jews into thinking he's a bum
They caught him and they whipped him and had him on the run
Then they nailed him to a cross and they hung him in the sun.
Baby, Baby Jesus, bleeding from out his ears.
Well now he's us in Heaven and its for the best
He's manna for the hungry soul, and to the weary, rest
Father, Son and Holy Ghost will put us to the test
And send us to eternal fire if we aren't truly blessed
Baby, Baby Jesus, boy King of all the Jews
Swing Low
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
I looked over Dobbstown, and what did I see?
Down beneath my fleshy sweet bone,
A band of pink boys coming after me,
Lee, Bobby, Billy and Joe.
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
If you get ruptured fore I do,
Right above thy fleshy sweet bone,
Let the sex goddess know I'm a comin' too.
Right behind my fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
I sent in my thirty and what they send?
Some pamplets and a guarantee,
If I don't get ruptured in the end,
Ninety dollars comin back to me.
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
Now X day's comin, or so they say,
Coming for my fleshy sweet bone,
I'm all paid up, so carry me away,
The saucers gonna carry me home!
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Swing beneath thy fleshy sweet bone,
Swing low, Subgenius ballsack,
Shemp, Larry Curly and Moe.
Ballad of Neil Bush (you'll recognize the implied melody)
Come and listen to a story about a man named Neil
A rich racketeer who could make a Thai whore squeal,
Then one day he said "Daddy, what the hell,
I bet I could make money ripping off an S&L".
Silverado, that is. Bad loans... interest free.
Well the first thing you know ol Neil's on the phone,
Called up his partner and said "Have another loan"
"You don't have to pay it back cause you're like family"
So they loaded up their pockets and the rest is history.
Court records, that is. Bank fraud, jail time.
Well we would have had to say goodbye to Neil and all his mob,
Except they had connections who could help him keep his job.
So Neil avoided jail cause the VP was his dad
And the taxpayers had to fork it out for all the fun he'd had.
Bush style, that is. 1.6 billion. US dollars.
He's comin back now, y'hear?.