Fairy Tale Friday 39

Richard Skull reads the story to you!
Mack the Baboon lived in a lagoon, in the primate display at the zoo. He had a pellet dispenser, a branch, and a simple life smelling nicely of ass.  But his soul was as lonely as Brad Delp's, and he longed for a mate.  He could see the girl of his dreams from his cell, and at night when all was quiet, he watched her.

In a nearby cube of jungle, the White Handed Gibbon lept around like a jackass over some peanuts.  Her indiscriminate enthusiasm repulsed him - the beauty he adored was never so undignified.

In a leaf-strewn crate, the Colobus flagrantly displayed her genitalia for one and all, smacking herself with her thumbless hands, as if she thought monkey vagina was some kind of big deal.  But Mack's statuesque queen held her slot in elegant regard, and thus, he did as well.

Pushed at last to the limits of his tolerance for the shortcomings of his order by a pack of tamarins pitching feces around with their bare hands, he escaped his lagoon one lonely evening and crept to where his love towered and glowed.  Beset on all sides by his so-called peers - nit eaters, shit sniffers, and furious masturbators, all - he made his way to her corner, and spoke:

"Hello," he said.  "You don't know me, but I have been noticing you. My name is Mack, and I live in the lagoon at the end of the hall.  May I ask your name?"

"COLD BEVERAGES," replied the lofty beauty.

"That's pretty," he said.  "I can tell you're not like the others, who screech and piss all over the place."

'INSERT COINS.  MAKE SELECTION." interrupted his amazon love.

"And all sorts of other fleshy, sloppy nonsense.  But someone like me, and someone like you, could really"

"INSERT COINS.  MAKE SELECTION," she repeated.

"I don't have any coins.  I have a red butt, but no coins.  I'm a baboon," he explained hopefully.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW," asked his buxom queen, her menu buttons flashing.

"Well, I guess because that's what it says on the sign outside my habitat," said Mack.

"COLD BEVERAGES" replied his majestic angel.

"Well, I know we have our differences, but I really believe that with a little patience..."

"INSERT COINS. MAKE SELECTION", she insisted.

"But, I'm not done!" said Mack.

"YOU ARE DONE." said the obtuse goddess.

And Mack thought of his pellet dispenser, which gave pellets and asked for nothing in return, and his branch, which was always there for him.  "This pussy ain't worth it," he said, and ran off home as fast as his legs would carry him.

The end.

Happy Friday!