Fairy Tale Friday 45
Richard Skull reads the story to you!
Carla the Sumatran Monkey Rat had a mile of loose
skin pooling at her joints, a dozen raw, pickable scabs on her torso,
drooping purple pockmarked labia and thickly calloused feet. But
in spite of all of this, still, nobody would fuck her.
As hard as she tried to master the art of seduction, nobody wanted a shot at that funky, hot Monkey Rat pussy. So Carla, at the nadir of her despair, banished herself to the Indonesian outback for a vision quest.
After some time, Carla came across a sad clown playing a violin in the
shadow of a volcano. "Hello, sad clown," said Carla. "Will you fuck me?"
"I can't fuck you," said the clown. "I am too sad."
"Why are you said," asked Carla.
"Because you are so ugly," said the clown. Carla could not argue with
this, so she continued on her way.
After a while, she came across an angry Irishman, who had been cursed to dance forever around a pot of gold beside a swampy marsh. "Hello, Seamus O'Seamus," said Carla. "Will you fuck me?"
"Bejaysus, no," said Seamus, flushed with rage. "Saints preserve us, I'm too angry."
"Why are you angry," asked Carla.
"Because you are stupid," said the Irishman, and shook his shillelagh. Carla assumed this must be so, because an angry Irishman wouldn't lie. She moved on until she came upon Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker, crouching in a shrubbery.
"Hello Richard Ramirez," said Carla. "Will you fuck me?"
"Sure, I'll fuck you," said Richard Ramirez. Carla jumped for joy.
So Richard Ramirez fucked her, and then strangled her to death, decapitated her, bludgeoned her body with an Avia running shoe and snipped her eyes out of her head and smoked them. Then he fucked her again. Her head, propped up on a nearby rock, stared at this from vacant eye sockets. "Why are you doing this to me?" asked the head.
"I'm killing the shit out of you because I'm Richard Ramirez," he said. "And I'm fucking you because you are a pretty nice piece of tail, for a Sumatran Monkey Rat."
And that is how Carla learned that anybody can get laid if they are willing to relax their judgement a little, but not everybody is smart enough not to get their head hacked off by an established lunatic. Thus enlightened, she ascended to Monkey Rat heaven and was seated at the right hand of the Gorilla, and hers is the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.
The end! I hope none of you are trading your good sense for some
As hard as she tried to master the art of seduction, nobody wanted a shot at that funky, hot Monkey Rat pussy. So Carla, at the nadir of her despair, banished herself to the Indonesian outback for a vision quest.
After some time, Carla came across a sad clown playing a violin in the
shadow of a volcano. "Hello, sad clown," said Carla. "Will you fuck me?"
"I can't fuck you," said the clown. "I am too sad."
"Why are you said," asked Carla.
"Because you are so ugly," said the clown. Carla could not argue with
this, so she continued on her way.
After a while, she came across an angry Irishman, who had been cursed to dance forever around a pot of gold beside a swampy marsh. "Hello, Seamus O'Seamus," said Carla. "Will you fuck me?"
"Bejaysus, no," said Seamus, flushed with rage. "Saints preserve us, I'm too angry."
"Why are you angry," asked Carla.
"Because you are stupid," said the Irishman, and shook his shillelagh. Carla assumed this must be so, because an angry Irishman wouldn't lie. She moved on until she came upon Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker, crouching in a shrubbery.
"Hello Richard Ramirez," said Carla. "Will you fuck me?"
"Sure, I'll fuck you," said Richard Ramirez. Carla jumped for joy.
So Richard Ramirez fucked her, and then strangled her to death, decapitated her, bludgeoned her body with an Avia running shoe and snipped her eyes out of her head and smoked them. Then he fucked her again. Her head, propped up on a nearby rock, stared at this from vacant eye sockets. "Why are you doing this to me?" asked the head.
"I'm killing the shit out of you because I'm Richard Ramirez," he said. "And I'm fucking you because you are a pretty nice piece of tail, for a Sumatran Monkey Rat."
And that is how Carla learned that anybody can get laid if they are willing to relax their judgement a little, but not everybody is smart enough not to get their head hacked off by an established lunatic. Thus enlightened, she ascended to Monkey Rat heaven and was seated at the right hand of the Gorilla, and hers is the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.
The end! I hope none of you are trading your good sense for some