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Genesis 3 by Tater Gumfries on Saturday, September 4, 2010 at 12:41pm ยท :1: Now that snake he was smarter than any other of them critters God had whomped up, and he says to Eve, he says, "Didn't God tell you not to eat them apples?" :2: And Eve, she says, "We can eat whatever we want": :3: "cept for them apples, on account of they ain't no good -- they'll kill you dead, that's what God said". :4: And that snake, he says "Naw, they ain't pizin": :5: "God don't want you eatin on them on account of you take a bite, you'll know more'n you ought". :6: So Eve, she takes a look, and by golly, them apples looked mighty tasty, and they was good lookin apples too, and anyways, why not get you some fancy ideas for free, just by eatin em?. :7: And don't that beat all, they took a bite and looked down and they was nekkid! so they sewed some big ol leaves together and made them some britches. :8: But them God come on by, walkin in that garden: and Adam and Eve they hid theyselves so God wouldn't see em naked. :9: So God he didn't see em, and he knew they was around, so he hollers "Adam, where you at?" :10: And Adam, he says, "I was scared on account of I was naked, and I hid behind yonder tree". :11: And God, he asks him "How'd you know you was naked? I never said nothin about clothes. You et that apple I told you not to eat, didn't ya?" :12: And Adam, that no good varmint, and he blames the gal, says "Eve give me that apple. She done told me to eat on that". :13: And God, he falls for it! He says "You do that?" And Eve, that low down weasel, she lays the blame on that snake!, says "The snake made me do it". :14: So God, he goes after that snake, and he tells him "I can't believe you messed with me, snake. Oh, I'm gonna lay it on thick. You gonna be the lowest of the low. I'm gonna make you slither along the ground. You'll be eatin dust the rest of your days, by golly". :15: God's still carryin on, see, and he says "From now on, them gals ain't gonna have no truck with snakes. Ain't even little gals gonna like them baby snakes. They gonna whomp you on the head, and you gonna bite me on the foot". :16: Tell you what, God's still got a bee in his bonnet, and he tells her "You want you a baby? It's gonna hurt like the dickens, and your husband gonna be your boss". :17: And he's still goin! He says to Adam "I ain't cookin for you no longer. You gonna have to grow all your own food, and it'll be more work than you ever done". :18: "You try growin somethin to eat, you're gonna get weeds and briars; you'll have to grab you some field greens you want a salad"; :19: "You want a piece of bread? You gonna work for it. And I got something to top that off -- after a spell of hard work, you gonna die!". :20: Did I mention Eve's name was Eve? Shoot, I reckon I did. :21: But God weren't all bad. He had them a consolation prize. They got some nice leather coats. :22: God said, don't know to who, "Them folks is jusst like us now. They know naked from closed and good and bad, and now they know about them apples, they might want some more of em, and you know, they might eat em and live forever. Can't have none of that". :23: So God sent them packin. :24: And he got him some of his ol' school buddies, bought 'em a six pack, and told 'em to guard that tree so Adam and Eve wouldn't sneak back and grab more apples for the road. TaterPedia Bible Project
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