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Genesis 5


:1: This is the part where we really talk about Adam's kinfolk. The day that God made up th' first man, He made him look like Him;
:2: He made man and woman both; and blessed them real good, and called them both Adam, for some reason, just as soon as he was done makin' them.
:3: And Adam was hunnert and thirty years old when he got a boy he called Seth, who was just like him, spittin' image and all,
:4: And Adam lived another eight hunnert years after that, and got a whole passel of young-uns.
:5: That's right, Adam lived to see nine hunnert and thirty afore he kicked the bucket.
:6: Seth was only a hunnert and five when little Enos was born:
:7: And Seth lived for another eight hunnert an' seven years, and had his own passel of young-uns:
:8: So Seth made it to nine hunnert and twelve afore he upped and died.
:9: Now, Enos, he was just ninety years when his son Cainan was whelped:
:10: And Enos made it another eight hunnert and fifteen years, and got his passel:
:11: And Enos nine hunnert an' five years old when he went belly-up.
:12: Cainan was barely seventy years old when he got his son, Mahalaleel, if that's spelled right:
:13: And Cainan lived eight hunnert and forty years after Mahalaleel--no, I looked it up, that is th' right spellin', stop worryin' me. Oh yeah, and passels. Check.
:14: Cainan was nine hunnert and ten years old when he died, accordin' to basic 'rithmetic.
:15: Mahalaleel was only sixty-five years old when his boy Jared came into the world:
:16: And Mahalaleel lived for about eight hunnert and thirty years after Jared, and, yes, he had a passel, too.
:17: And Mahalaleel died young--he was only eight hunnert ninety-five.
:18: And Jared was a hunnert sixty-two when his boy Enoch popped out:
:19: Jared lived another eight hunnert years, plenty time for passel-makin':
:20: And at th' age of nine hunnert sixty and two years, Jared finally bit th' big one.
:21: Now, Enoch, he was just barely sixty-five whut when Methuselah was born!
:22: Enoch was God's good buddy, but only had three hunnert years for his passel:
:23: That's right, Enoch was only three hunnert sixty-five years old:
:24: But it's not like he died or something like that--God done took him home. Told you they were buddies.
:25: Methuselah, now, he was a hunnert eighty-seven when Lamech came a-crawlin' along:
:26: And Methuselah lived another seven hunnert eighty and two years--not a bad passel neither:
:27: Methuselah lived to be nine hunnert sixty-nine years old, an' set a world record for longevity.
:28: And Lamech was a hunnert eighty-two years old when he had a son.
:29: And he called his boy Noah, and told everyone, So what if th' Lord cursed this land, when we're breakin' our backs, just hearin' Noah's name will get me a-grinnin'.
:30: Lamech lived for another five hunnert ninety-five years, and got all passeled-out:
:31: So Lamech was but seven hunnert seventy-seven years when he cut out.
:32: And Noah was five hunnert years old and had three boys, Shem, Ham, and Japheth. An' more, but hold your horses, that's comin' up. 

TaterPedia Bible Project

Translated by Roy "Teabag" Hooter, Edited by Tater Gumfries