Love Advice
Zapanaz
Zapanaz
Before I found Miss Binky, I was a total loser.
I weighed three hundred pounds. I lived in my Mom's basement. I hadn't held a steady job since the time I had a paper route in the fifth grade. My only contact with other people was on the Internet, and everybody there hated me. I hadn't taken a shower since the late eighties.
So I decided to turn to Miss Binky.
I fell to my knees in front of a printed picture of Miss Binky from her web site and I cried. "HELP ME, MISS BINKY!", I cried. "I'm tired of my go-nowhere, do-nothing life! Why does everybody else get all the happiness, the sex, the success, the sex, the admiration of their peers, and the sex?"
"HELP ME, PLEASE!"
And then something strange happened. The printed image of Miss Binky seemed to come to life. It seemed as if it had taken on three dimensions. Suddenly, Miss Binky giggled! This was no dream.
"As you wish, so shall it be!" With that, she waved her magic wand, and a cloud of fairy dust covered me.
Turns out I'm allergic to fairy dust, but after I recovered from the coughing fit, I felt DIFFERENT!
I was a changed man! I leapt to my feet, filled with energy and self-confidence! I took a shower for the first time in years!
Proudly I marched into the street! No longer was I afraid to approach women! I approached them at bus stops and was not in the least afraid to massively intrude into their personal space! I was not in the least embarrassed to strike up conversations with them as I hung around casually in women's restrooms!
And I started a whole new career for myself, setting up websites for people! Before Miss Binky, I would have been intimidated to take on computers work, but after Miss Binky, I realized there are THOUSANDS of web sites out there already, and all you really have to do is copy and paste them and change a few names around!
BEFORE MISS BINKY, I WAS A PIMPLY-FACED LOSER, BUT NOW, I AM A SELF-CONFIDENT GIGOLO!
I weighed three hundred pounds. I lived in my Mom's basement. I hadn't held a steady job since the time I had a paper route in the fifth grade. My only contact with other people was on the Internet, and everybody there hated me. I hadn't taken a shower since the late eighties.
So I decided to turn to Miss Binky.
I fell to my knees in front of a printed picture of Miss Binky from her web site and I cried. "HELP ME, MISS BINKY!", I cried. "I'm tired of my go-nowhere, do-nothing life! Why does everybody else get all the happiness, the sex, the success, the sex, the admiration of their peers, and the sex?"
"HELP ME, PLEASE!"
And then something strange happened. The printed image of Miss Binky seemed to come to life. It seemed as if it had taken on three dimensions. Suddenly, Miss Binky giggled! This was no dream.
"As you wish, so shall it be!" With that, she waved her magic wand, and a cloud of fairy dust covered me.
Turns out I'm allergic to fairy dust, but after I recovered from the coughing fit, I felt DIFFERENT!
I was a changed man! I leapt to my feet, filled with energy and self-confidence! I took a shower for the first time in years!
Proudly I marched into the street! No longer was I afraid to approach women! I approached them at bus stops and was not in the least afraid to massively intrude into their personal space! I was not in the least embarrassed to strike up conversations with them as I hung around casually in women's restrooms!
And I started a whole new career for myself, setting up websites for people! Before Miss Binky, I would have been intimidated to take on computers work, but after Miss Binky, I realized there are THOUSANDS of web sites out there already, and all you really have to do is copy and paste them and change a few names around!
BEFORE MISS BINKY, I WAS A PIMPLY-FACED LOSER, BUT NOW, I AM A SELF-CONFIDENT GIGOLO!