Health Care Advice
Tater Gumfries
Tater Gumfries
How to make some good cheap health care
by Tater Gumfries
Folks
seem to be balkin at what some of em are callin Obamacare, so in the
spirit of Americanism, Tater's offerin this well thought out
alternative healthcare plan. Only the most successful surgeries, drugs,
and preventive care procedures is covered. Don't like it, don't buy it.
$50 a month per person, take it or leave it. No taxes, no forced insurance, no copay.
Here's what it covers. No substitutions. No whinin, no beggin.
Preventive care
1. All childhood immunizations
2. Flu shots
3. Tetanus shots when you need em
4. Classes in healthy eatin and cookin
5. Child raisin classes
6. Drug quittin classes
Surgical procedures
1. Tonsillectomy
2. Gallbladder Removal
3. Caesarean Section
4. Joint Replacements
5. Mastectomy
6. Colectomy
7. Hysterectomy
8. Fracture repair
9. Appendectomy
10. Prostate Surgery
11. Hemorrhoidectomy
12. Breast Biopsies
13. Carpal Tunnel Surgery
14. Hernia repairs
15. Cancer cuttin
16. Cancer biopsies
No transplants, period.
Emergency room treatment
1. Stop the bleedin
2. Start that heart up agin
3. Pump that stomach
4. Pop that eye, shoulder, fingerbone back in
Drugs
1. Diabetes drugs
2. Antibiotics
Eye care
1. One eye exam a year
2. One pair of glasses, every two years
Dental
1. Yearly tooth cleaning, by a tech, then a quick look-see by the doc
2. Tooth gluin if they's broke
3. Real basic cavity fixin, done by a tech
Mental health
1. Consultation with a counsellor
2. Antidepressants
3. Antipsychotics
$50 a month per person, take it or leave it. No taxes, no forced insurance, no copay.
Here's what it covers. No substitutions. No whinin, no beggin.
Preventive care
1. All childhood immunizations
2. Flu shots
3. Tetanus shots when you need em
4. Classes in healthy eatin and cookin
5. Child raisin classes
6. Drug quittin classes
Surgical procedures
1. Tonsillectomy
2. Gallbladder Removal
3. Caesarean Section
4. Joint Replacements
5. Mastectomy
6. Colectomy
7. Hysterectomy
8. Fracture repair
9. Appendectomy
10. Prostate Surgery
11. Hemorrhoidectomy
12. Breast Biopsies
13. Carpal Tunnel Surgery
14. Hernia repairs
15. Cancer cuttin
16. Cancer biopsies
No transplants, period.
Emergency room treatment
1. Stop the bleedin
2. Start that heart up agin
3. Pump that stomach
4. Pop that eye, shoulder, fingerbone back in
Drugs
1. Diabetes drugs
2. Antibiotics
Eye care
1. One eye exam a year
2. One pair of glasses, every two years
Dental
1. Yearly tooth cleaning, by a tech, then a quick look-see by the doc
2. Tooth gluin if they's broke
3. Real basic cavity fixin, done by a tech
Mental health
1. Consultation with a counsellor
2. Antidepressants
3. Antipsychotics