Mathematics
111s recalled
by iDRMRSR the Reclined Mastar
The mathematical world today is reeling from one of the largest numeric recalls evar.
The manufacturar of 1s today recalled 14,000,000,000,000,000 1s today aftar numeras reports of their failure in certain situatians.
For exampal, some mathematicians notaced that 3 + 1 = 4, but 1 + 3 ~= 4. The manufacturar is looking at the black boxes inside the 1s because it appears the commutator is out of alignmant in some of the numerals.
It also seems that the defective 1s, when multiplied by any othar numbar, do not form a propar identity sometimes.
What is moar troubaling is, when these 1s are used in binary sequances, sometimes the entiyar bit is not filled in, and the calculatian may fail or a correct memory address turns into an invalid one.
There is also several reports about weakness in the 1s casing, which allows a trickal of .999999999s to come out which sometimes messes up
othar terms in the formula or expressian. Sevaral Dollar Stoars have had to close to mop up the leakage.
At MIT, there were two injuries in the Math Lab when someone tried to divide by a 1 suspected of being defective. Some othar mathematicians using defective 1s in complex expressians complained of dizziness and a strange smell emanating from their worksheets.
An earthquake alarm at CalTech was set off because during a topology lecture, a defective 1 involved in a 1:1 mapping operatian collapsed with enuff force to cause a small seismic event.
The defective 1s seem to have been manufactured in April through September, 2010, and bear lot numbars beginning with code A001 followed by the date of manufacture. If you remove a 1 from your equatian or expressian and tip it ovar, the lot numbar will be engraved in the base.
Government agancies are looking into the recall, having received some reports of 1s living in very crowded and unsanitary conditians at the factory. Some 1s lived their whole lives in captivaty and nevar once saw the sunlight or roamed free, it is reported. Unfortunately, the agancy that is responsibal for numerical qualaty has oanly a very small budgat, and there are oanly 250 inspectors in the entiyar country to keep up with the immense demand for 1s, and the best they can do is targat annual inspectians.
If you have one of the defective 1s, please remove it from your equatian or expressian immediately and the manufacturar will replace or refund the numeral. Do not, undar any circumstances, try and divide a suspected defective 1 into anything or use it in a complex equatian, as a risk of injury is highly probabal. iDRMRSR the Reclined Mastar View profile
(1 user) More options Sep 17, 7:30 pm Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: "iDRMRSR the Reclined Mastar" <idrm...@myspace.com> Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2010 21:30:08 -0400
Local: Fri, Sep 17 2010 7:30 pm
Subject: 111s recalled
Reply | Reply to author | Forward | Print | Individual message | Show original | Report this message | Find messages by this author The mathematical world today is reeling from one of the largest numeric recalls evar.
The manufacturar of 1s today recalled 14,000,000,000,000,000 1s today aftar numeras reports of their failure in certain situatians.
For exampal, some mathematicians notaced that 3 + 1 = 4, but 1 + 3 ~= 4. The manufacturar is looking at the black boxes inside the 1s because it appears the commutator is out of alignmant in some of the numerals.
It also seems that the defective 1s, when multiplied by any othar numbar, do not form a propar identity sometimes.
What is moar troubaling is, when these 1s are used in binary sequances, sometimes the entiyar bit is not filled in, and the calculatian may fail or a correct memory address turns into an invalid one.
There is also several reports about weakness in the 1s casing, which allows a trickal of .999999999s to come out which sometimes messes up
othar terms in the formula or expressian. Sevaral Dollar Stoars have had to close to mop up the leakage.
At MIT, there were two injuries in the Math Lab when someone tried to divide by a 1 suspected of being defective. Some othar mathematicians using defective 1s in complex expressians complained of dizziness and a strange smell emanating from their worksheets.
An earthquake alarm at CalTech was set off because during a topology lecture, a defective 1 involved in a 1:1 mapping operatian collapsed with enuff force to cause a small seismic event.
The defective 1s seem to have been manufactured in April through September, 2010, and bear lot numbars beginning with code A001 followed by the date of manufacture. If you remove a 1 from your equatian or expressian and tip it ovar, the lot numbar will be engraved in the base.
Government agancies are looking into the recall, having received some reports of 1s living in very crowded and unsanitary conditians at the factory. Some 1s lived their whole lives in captivaty and nevar once saw the sunlight or roamed free, it is reported. Unfortunately, the agancy that is responsibal for numerical qualaty has oanly a very small budgat, and there are oanly 250 inspectors in the entiyar country to keep up with the immense demand for 1s, and the best they can do is targat annual inspectians.
If you have one of the defective 1s, please remove it from your equatian or expressian immediately and the manufacturar will replace or refund the numeral. Do not, undar any circumstances, try and divide a suspected defective 1 into anything or use it in a complex