Fairy Tale Friday 21
Jack worked in a Main Street storefront selling
robot vaginas. All day he sat at his desk, staring out the
window, while people walking past stared in.
A pretty girl walked by and met his friendly gaze. He waved, but when she didn't return the gesture, Jack realized that nobody out there was interested in him at all. The whole world was obsessed with its own reflection.
He missed the bus home that night, and walked home to his dingy apartment, fumbling for his keys while cold rain pelted his face. "Life is futile," he sighed.
A mysterious stranger in a trenchcoat approached, and Jack assumed he was to be mugged and murdered. But the stranger just grinned and said "Hey buddy. Bad day?"
"That's one way of putting it," said Jack. "I'm surrounded by hundreds of vaginas, but not one I can stick it to. I thought the world had its eyes on me, but it was just gawking at itself. I live in a shit hole, I'm old and broken, broke and bored, utterly, totally fucked in every possible way."
The dark weirdo seemed unsurprised. "Gee that's rough. But I have something here that may interest you. For the contents of your wallet, you can have these magic beans." Jack was skeptical, but magic beans come along once in a lifetime, so he forked over his last twelve big ones for a palmful. "Take as needed," said the man, and vanished.
Jack nuked a slab of salisbury steak and spent the night watching infomercials in his stained recliner, a lukewarm can of TAB in one hand and the remote in the other. A smiling face on the screen promised hours of sexual thrills and a giant new johnson for only three installments of 69.95. "I wish it was so!" said Jack, and just for fun, he swallowed one of his novelty beans and drifted off to sleep.
He awoke a sweaty mess. From his groin sprouted his original dick, with ten new inches hanging, along with four massive NEW dicks. They were chafed and angry looking. The mattress, dresser, even the walls were drilled with suspicious friction divets encrusted with dried foamy splatter. And Jack felt fantastic.
He showered and dressed, his mind focused on one undeniable truth - he had literally fucked holes into the walls with the five hefty lunatics currently stuffing his trousers.
When he got to the bus stop just in time for the doors to close in his face, Jack couldn't help feeling just a little pathetic - here was a man packing five pounds of cock, yet still not man enough to command the respect of a fucking bus driver. He thought back on those beans, and just for fun, he ate one.
Two blocks down but still within view, the bus driver's head spontaneously exploded in a hail of meaty wreckage, and the bus swerved into a building and burst into flames. The screams were thrilling - Jack's five dicks strained against his pants.
A man with magic beans doesn't have to toil in robot vagina sales, but Jack didn't go to work that day because he had to. He ate a bean, and when he got to work, each one of those pulsing robot vulvas was connected to a Real Live Girl, strapped to every surface, unable to move or resist. Best of all, where their complaining mouths used to be, the source of so much insipid monologue, insult and drama, was instead a smooth patch of skin with a big smile drawn on. The eyes said no no no, but those smiles said yes yes yes.
Some years have passed. Jack doesn't move around much anymore. He's still got his recliner, though you'd hardly recognize it now. Thanks to the old trick of wishing for more wishes, by his side is a vat of magic beans - a bean for everything. One for his hunger, one for his thirst, a bean for his rashes, a bean for new bitches, a bean to ease the sting of any perceived social slights, a bean to make the smell go away. His eyes are always open, glazed and dry and red, and his meat and skin hang from his skeleton like a wet sheet on a clothesline, while a batallion of metal twats clap and clank around him on the ground. When he stares at his television screen, the beautiful people behind the glass look back, and do everything they can to please and amuse him. His arm reaches out for bean after bean after bean. There is no pain. He is so happy.
Fee Fi Fo Fum - The End! Happy Friday!!
A pretty girl walked by and met his friendly gaze. He waved, but when she didn't return the gesture, Jack realized that nobody out there was interested in him at all. The whole world was obsessed with its own reflection.
He missed the bus home that night, and walked home to his dingy apartment, fumbling for his keys while cold rain pelted his face. "Life is futile," he sighed.
A mysterious stranger in a trenchcoat approached, and Jack assumed he was to be mugged and murdered. But the stranger just grinned and said "Hey buddy. Bad day?"
"That's one way of putting it," said Jack. "I'm surrounded by hundreds of vaginas, but not one I can stick it to. I thought the world had its eyes on me, but it was just gawking at itself. I live in a shit hole, I'm old and broken, broke and bored, utterly, totally fucked in every possible way."
The dark weirdo seemed unsurprised. "Gee that's rough. But I have something here that may interest you. For the contents of your wallet, you can have these magic beans." Jack was skeptical, but magic beans come along once in a lifetime, so he forked over his last twelve big ones for a palmful. "Take as needed," said the man, and vanished.
Jack nuked a slab of salisbury steak and spent the night watching infomercials in his stained recliner, a lukewarm can of TAB in one hand and the remote in the other. A smiling face on the screen promised hours of sexual thrills and a giant new johnson for only three installments of 69.95. "I wish it was so!" said Jack, and just for fun, he swallowed one of his novelty beans and drifted off to sleep.
He awoke a sweaty mess. From his groin sprouted his original dick, with ten new inches hanging, along with four massive NEW dicks. They were chafed and angry looking. The mattress, dresser, even the walls were drilled with suspicious friction divets encrusted with dried foamy splatter. And Jack felt fantastic.
He showered and dressed, his mind focused on one undeniable truth - he had literally fucked holes into the walls with the five hefty lunatics currently stuffing his trousers.
When he got to the bus stop just in time for the doors to close in his face, Jack couldn't help feeling just a little pathetic - here was a man packing five pounds of cock, yet still not man enough to command the respect of a fucking bus driver. He thought back on those beans, and just for fun, he ate one.
Two blocks down but still within view, the bus driver's head spontaneously exploded in a hail of meaty wreckage, and the bus swerved into a building and burst into flames. The screams were thrilling - Jack's five dicks strained against his pants.
A man with magic beans doesn't have to toil in robot vagina sales, but Jack didn't go to work that day because he had to. He ate a bean, and when he got to work, each one of those pulsing robot vulvas was connected to a Real Live Girl, strapped to every surface, unable to move or resist. Best of all, where their complaining mouths used to be, the source of so much insipid monologue, insult and drama, was instead a smooth patch of skin with a big smile drawn on. The eyes said no no no, but those smiles said yes yes yes.
Some years have passed. Jack doesn't move around much anymore. He's still got his recliner, though you'd hardly recognize it now. Thanks to the old trick of wishing for more wishes, by his side is a vat of magic beans - a bean for everything. One for his hunger, one for his thirst, a bean for his rashes, a bean for new bitches, a bean to ease the sting of any perceived social slights, a bean to make the smell go away. His eyes are always open, glazed and dry and red, and his meat and skin hang from his skeleton like a wet sheet on a clothesline, while a batallion of metal twats clap and clank around him on the ground. When he stares at his television screen, the beautiful people behind the glass look back, and do everything they can to please and amuse him. His arm reaches out for bean after bean after bean. There is no pain. He is so happy.
Fee Fi Fo Fum - The End! Happy Friday!!