FTF 27

Froggy Style

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. The King knew the kind of misfortune prone to befall beautiful princesses - vengeful witches, wolves with mutilation fetishes, frog rape...His daughter could never know the cold discomfort of a rectum full of frog cock, so he locked her in a tower, higher than any frog could jump.

On her seventeenth birthday, the princess awoke with the confidence of the very attractive, and turned on the television to watch the parade in honor of her birthday.

During the commercial break, an animated face filled the screen. "Do YOU want lashes that drive men WILD?" asked the face. "Blast them with LASH BLAST." The princess pondered her eyelashes briefly, but it was her birthday, and before she could care too much, the parade came back on.

She enjoyed the All Star Fatty Stomp and Pudding Toss, and the Midgets of Mayhem, and the rolling squid tanks, but her mood soured when a lady robot appeared and shrieked out of the screen at her, "CAN YOUR LEGS DO THIS?" and burst a human head between its thighs, brains and gore spraying the camera, ruptured eyes swinging from their stalks. "IRON GYM! IRON GYM! POP A MAN'S SKULL! SEX!"

The princess absently pinched at a tiny, soft area of flesh on her inner thigh, and frowned.

The parade continued - Sex Change Kevin and the Anal Leakage Band played her favorite song, "Ram Me On the Rooftop". Jesus's Fetuses did a rousing rendition of "Don't Flush Me, Mom, It's the Junior Prom". Her spirits lifted. An ad came on.

A smiling chimp in a glittering gown, her mouth a lush red puckered flower, whispered, "Is your vulva perfect? Mine is. I keep it that way with 'Sixteen Again Vulvular Tightening Gloss'. Keep YOUR vagina looking its sixteeniest with Sixteen Again. Without it, you might as well pack your twat with frogs."

The ads kept coming. "You're Ugly." "You're Hairy." "You Smell." And the princess had the unsightly revelation that she was just another bald ape, and might as well pack her twat with frogs before it grew so cavern-like with age that not even the clammiest, wartiest frog in the swamp would have her.

So she did, and with her new, relaxed set of standards, the Princess became the party skank of the frog tank, developed a hardcore drug habit and was dead before her 20th birthday. At her funeral, everyone filed past her badly used, frogged up remains, all crusted with tadpoles and green clotted goo, and whispered, "We always knew she'd end up this way."

The End! Happy Friday!